The Adventures of Elf Chasing
by Morwen and Nessa
Summary: Two mentally different (NO NOT RETARTED!) girls fall into M.E. via Hurricaine Isibel. Then, they start chasing elves. All hell breaks loose.
1. Hurricaine Isabel

*Adventures of Elf Chasing*  
By: Morwen and Nessa  
  
Nani = Japanese for what  
  
Julia POV:  
  
We, and by we I mean me, and my friend Rama, were walking down the street, (no, not singing 'Doo-wa-diddi-diddi-dum-diddi-doo') going to my house after school.  
  
"So..." she said, trying to create a conversation. I really was in a good mood, but I had been thinking about my Leg-less, and see, we were sorta close in my "thinking".  
  
"WHAT?! I screamed back. I guess I scared her somehow... maybe it was the fact that I attempted to choke her in the process.  
  
"Caaaaaan **cough** I... **cough** haaaaave...**cough** my neeeeeck **cough** baaaack??? **cough** PLEASE?" I let go of her neck, and continued to walk. Rama was about 10 feet behind me... probably cursing me in Japanese... even though she's Polish... and Yiddish... and Jewish... basically everything "ish".  
  
Rama POV:  
  
"Nani?!"  
  
What did I ever do to her. Oh, I get it, she must be thinking about her precious Lego-boy. Ah, the poor obsessed. Of course, I'm obsessed also! I'm obsessed with swords, Inuyasha, anime, Inuyasha, Magna, Inuyasha, Japan, Inuyasha and most of all **Drum roll please** Ramen noodles! HA! I bet you thought I was gonna say Inuyasha! Well! My 10 step program is working! Did I just say that out loud? Am I even talking out loud!? I'm confusing myself!!  
  
Anyway, we finally got to Julia's house! We walked in when the lights start to flicker. FUN. Julia went to look out the window.  
  
"Hello Isabel," she muttered under her breath, referring to Hurricane Isabel.  
  
That's when the electrical surge hit the house. The lights went on and off, the phone, that got knocked off it's hook, was ringing.  
  
"Hey!" I yelled, overt he howling wind (did I MENTION the howling wind...AND the shattered glass....) "It's that ABC special on the Lord of the Rings playing now." I guessed that explained the LOTR characters jumping around onscreen. Julia was now screeching "I DON'T CARE! SOMETHINGS HAPPENING!"  
  
She yelled as the electrical power-surge ebbed. Everything stopped. The lights, the wind, the freak electrical power surge. All gone. Black. Nothing. It's the last thing I remember.  
  
Elrohir POV:  
  
I was out with my hunting party when I saw two maidens lying in the wet grass. The one with curly brown hair was sprawled out on the ground, while the one with straight light-brown hair was curled up like a cat. All of the sudden, the one with lighter hair spoke, still with her eyes closed.  
  
"Juuuliaaa... the dog wet... the carpet...." she sprang up, wide awake. "AND I'M SLEEPING ON IT!" She jumped up, and started to dance absurdly, chanting "Ew! Getitoffofme! Ineedabathdammit! Ew! Ew!" The brunette, whom I assumed was Juuuliaaa, stood up and preformed similar antics. One of my men, Avonhir, assumed that what they were doing was a form of sorcery, so, he drew his bow and arrow. That is when they finally noticed us. The shorter light-haired one, stepped behind the taller one. *Wow*, I thought. *They must be good friends if one is risking her life for the other*. Just as I thought this, I noticed the two girls arguing.  
  
"YOU in front of ME!"  
  
"No! ME behind YOU!"  
  
"What if I die?"  
  
"What if *I* die?!" Eventually, the shorter one got in front of Juuuliaaa and ripped off her strange looking footwear.  
  
"Fine! She screamed dramatically. "*I* will go in front!!" She held out her foot-wear manacling.  
  
"A shoe?" the other muttered. "An old crappy tennis shoe?!"  
  
"It's all we haaaave..." whined the strange light-haired girl. Then she yelled to us, "WE COME IN PEAAAACE! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!"  
  
"Yes, we understand. And if you DIDN'T come in peace, we'd know by now, and you would most likely be dead!" I sneered.  
  
"Well at least we know there not over confident," the one with the 'shoe' muttered sarcastically. It seemed that just then, Juuuliaaa took in her surroundings.  
  
"Holy hell! You guys are ELVES?! Oh my goshness!" I think most of us got scared when she bounced over and started to poke and prod our sensitive ears. As Avonhir was about to shoot the maiden, her "friend" hit her on the head with her shoe. Juuuliaaa fell to the ground, muttering something that sounds like "I looove Leg-less..." I ordered one of the elves to carry her back to his horse, and to ride quickly to Rivendell.  
  
"Milady," I bowed to the light-haired one. "What, may I ask, is your name?" She looked like she had to think about her answer, but then smiled widely.  
  
"I'm Morwen... um... but call me Wen... And that was my friend Ju-I mean, Nessa...." I looked at her, and was about to question if her friend's name was not Juuuliaaa, but let the subject drop.  
  
Nessa POV:  
  
Ooooo.... pretty Leg-less... kiss me Leg-less... NO! DON'T RUN AWAAAAAAAY! Ah.... whatever....it's just a dream. He'll come to me in real life soon enough.... MUAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Wen POV:  
  
"What IS she mumbling?" the cute elf asked, referring to my retarded friend, Julia.  
  
I replied, "Oh... she's just having a fantasy about a certain elf she's liked for about a year... but has NEVER met." Well, who cares about her. You don't know HOW happy I was when he asked if I wanted to ride with him on his horse. I felt compelled to scream "WELL DUH!" (understatement of the CENTURY!), but I didn't...because I'm mature like that. Yeah...that's it...So, instead, I grinned REALLY wide. If it were his POV, I'm sure he'd think I was about to eat him!  
  
Elrohir POV:  
  
I thought she would eat me...  
  
Wen POV:  
  
See? Told ya so... 


	2. Karma, Clairvoyancy, and Gayness

Japanese word(s) of the chapter: Hikari = Light  
Kawaii = Lovely, cute, cuteness  
  
Elvish word(s) of the chapter: atar = father, dad  
  
Wen POV:  
  
"Wh-Why is it so... so... SHINY?!" the building material that made the buildings in Rivendell seemed to shine. They seemed to spit hikari.  
  
"It will seem shiny to humans, at first, but you will come accustomed to it eventually." Elrohir said, his expressionless face staying... well... expressionless!!!!! SO KAWAII!! So like Sesshomaru!! I... Love... you... SESSHOMARU (and Elrohir too......)!!!!  
  
"KWAAAAAAAAAA!!! IloveyoulegolasyoursoperfectIloveyousooooomuch!!!" Julia, or Nessa, spat, in one unholy breath. She was half asleep, starting to awake, she had a shoe-shaped muddy smudge across her forehead... Heh heh... I wonder why... heh heh... Another elf approached us.  
  
He looked exactly like Elrohir. One word to describe that moment. Heaven.  
  
"Brother," he said, "Why are you going to bring two humans to Rivendell with out atar's permission?"  
  
"Well, Elladan..." Elrohir started. I bit my tongue. I think It bled. Damn, I think I bit my tongue OFF trying not to laugh. I was honestly about to say 'And where's Genie? and Jasmine?... AND BA-BOO???'. But I didn't. 'kuz I'm still mature like that. Yup.  
  
Nessa Pov:  
  
Okay. All I remembered was a shoe connecting to my head. Since we were apparently in Middle Earth (THANKGODTHANKGODTHANKGODTHANKGOD! I LOVE YOU LEGOLAS!!!) I had a pretty strong feeling that it was Rama's shoe.  
  
"Milady? Are you alright?" I heard someone whisper. I opened my eyes immediately and shrieked.  
  
"LEGO-! HEY! WHO IS YOU?!" The guy looked at me like I was crazy. Okay, I admit... I am... but it was still rude! All of a sudden I noticed that the ground was moving. "AHHHHHHH!" I screamed as I fell off what ever I was on. When I looked up I saw Rama and the elf who found us on a big horse and a horse that had no rider on it. All I could think was HOW in the WORLD I was able to SLEEP and still ride a horse?  
  
"That, NESSA-chan, would be Elrohir's brother... Elladan....*snort*" said Rama trying not to laugh. Quickly in my brain (about 10 minutes later) I figured out why Rama had used my Elvish name we had found on the Elvish Name Generator.  
  
"Ooooo!" I yelled. "I'm NESSA! And you're Morwen!" Rama stared at me like I was crazy....Hey! I'm getting a lot of these stares lately....I should sue....  
  
"A-DUH!!" replied "Morwen". Then she put on a blank face.... that face that has to say I'm retarded. Grrrrrr.....revenge! After I was back on my horse, I looked around and saw only forest except for in front of the group where there was this path and a HUGE HUGE HUGE building that looked like is was SPARKLING!  
  
"Oooooooo...." I said shocked. "Purty colors....." Elladan (or Elrohir...I couldn't tell) came to me and started to talk. Oh how he annoys me....  
  
"Milady....I am Elladan..." (by now, I knew which twin he was....I'm so smrat ^-^...um...thats a typo!)" I was pondering on who you thought I was when I woke thee..." I stared at him...well.... more like glared at him....  
  
"::sigh:: First, STOP CALLING ME MILADY! Second of all, I have a name. It's Nessa (that was not a lie!) And thirdly...is that a word? Whatever...THIRDLY I thought you were the gallant Prince Legolas Greenleaf of Mirkwood... the most wonderful elf in all of Middle-Earth..." Behind me I heard Rama snort.  
  
"Ooooooo! He got shutDOWN!" Next thing, I hear a huge thump which I could only guess was Rama getting thrown off the other twin's horse. "Damnation to karma!"  
  
It took us a while to actually get to the sparkly building. It took us like HOURS! Well, actually, it was more like 10 minutes, but when Elladan was trying to explain to me what made the buildings sparkle, it made it seem like hours. Ever once in a while I would kindly interrupt him.  
  
"Hey, Freaky-Thang!" (I'm guessing he thought that was a GOOD thing) "When are we getting there? When are we going to see Leg-less? And WHY are you still talking?" So when we got there, these guys they called Healers started to look at the smudge on my head, and the bruise on my ass... (hey the guy that was looking was HOT!) and finally I got to meet Elrond. The first thing you will notice about Elrond... EYEBROWS. I have NEVER seen someone with such strange eyebrows. I mean, you thought the eyebrows in the movie were bad? That wasn't even HALF of how high his eyebrows were in real life!  
  
What happened was I got my own room and this seamstress lady elf person came and took my measurements. Then, all of a sudden, I'm wearing nothing but my underwear and bra. SCARY! And then she takes out this red dress with gold trimming and makes me wear it. Me like dresses... ^-^ Then, Elladan came and INSISTED, I mean REALLY insisted (he was about to beg on his knees) that he escort me to dinner. When we were walking through this maze (a.k.a. the hallways) I got him to tell me if Legolas was there. He didn't seem happy.  
  
"::sigh:: The 'gallant' Prince Legolas should be arriving shortly..."  
  
"He came all the way from Mirkwood to see me?!"  
  
"No! He's here on business!"  
  
"Oh! You mean the thing about the one ring?"  
  
"What?! How do you know that?" Thankfully, Morwen interrupted.  
  
"Coolfulness, you're here too!" she screeched. Morwen appeared in the same cloths she had been wearing since Isabel, but cleaner. She also had, swung over her shoulder, what looked like a bed post.  
  
"Uh, Wen, your not wearing a dress..." Hel*, did I want to hear the explanation for this! *(AN: Hel is the norse goddess of, you geussed it, the Hell, she is actualy where you get the word hell from. I PROMISE, LOOK IT UP, GO TO THE LIBRARY!!! )  
  
"Yup I know"  
  
~ Morwen's Flashback ~  
  
*You see Morwen waving a bed post around, an Elven maid ducking for cover, and behind her, a three poster bed. You hear "I'M NOT GONNA WEAR A DRESS!"*  
  
Legolas POV:  
  
I walked through the Ivory** archway upon hearing my cue, 'Prince Legolas Greenleaf son of King Thandruil of Mirkwood'. I walked into the large dining room in the castle of Half-Elven Elrond.  
I then hear this:  
  
"AHHH! IT'S HIM, RAMA, LEMMIEGOLEMMIEGOLEMMIEGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! ::sob::"  
  
And that's about when I spotted a girl wearing a strange tunic and blue pants, standing on the banquette table. She was restraining a girl in a red dress who was struggling.  
  
"Let me goooooo... ::Sob:: ...MEANIE!" she snarled at her captor, to whom I was doubtlessly grateful to, for I did not want the strange long haired one coming near me.  
  
"Uh... sorry about...::struggle:: all this... Mr. Legolas....sir.... Nessa! SIT!***... oh, your not ::Struggle:: Inuyasha" the dirty-blond one struggled. ** (AN: DO thay have Ivory in M.E.???) ***(AN: for the non-Inuyasha fans, in the magna/TV show Inuyasha will fall on his face if Kagome, another character, says 'sit' )  
  
Nessa POV:  
  
LEGGGGGGGGGGG-OOOOO-LAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS...  
  
Elrond POV:  
  
Oh, My god...  
  
Elrohir POV:  
  
Oh, my.  
  
Elladan POV:  
  
Why him?!  
  
Arwen POV:  
  
I think my father is going to have a heart attack.  
  
Aragorn POV:  
  
Uhhhhh...she's gonna be a problem  
  
Frodo POV:  
BIG problem  
  
Aragorn POV:  
  
... how-?  
  
Frodo POV:  
  
I'm clairvoyant!  
  
Aragorn POV:  
  
Did the ONE RING do that??  
  
Frodo POV:  
  
No, I was born this way... don't tell anyone, only Sam knows...  
  
Aragorn POV:  
  
OK... can I tell Legolas...?  
  
Frodo POV:  
  
NO!  
  
Aragorn POV:  
  
OK... Can I tell... Merry?  
  
Frodo POV:  
  
NO!  
  
Aragorn POV:  
  
OK... can I tell... Pippin?  
  
Frodo POV:  
  
NO!  
  
Aragorn POV:  
  
Can I tell... Arwen??  
  
Frodo POV:  
  
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Sam POV:  
  
I LOVE YOU FRODOOOOOO!!!!  
  
Frodo POV:  
  
STOP STARING AT ME!!!!!!!  
  
Aragorn POV:  
  
::Shivers::  
  
Frodo POV:  
  
Hey!...Morwen's unconscious!  
  
Aragorn POV:  
  
Who's Morwen?  
  
Frodo POV:  
  
The blondish maiden that is wearing the strange garments.  
  
Aragorn POV:  
  
How do you know her name?  
  
Frodo POV:  
  
I'm CLAIRVOYENT!  
  
Aragorn POV:  
  
Oh. Well, her 'friend' hit her over the head with a frying pan, than tackled Legolas, and now the guards are restraining her.  
  
Author POV:  
  
HAY! Be quiet! I'm watching Lifetime, here!  
  
Frodo POV:  
  
SORRY!  
  
~*~  
  
Morwen's not here right now. This is Nessa. Well, we're DEEPLY DEEPLY sorry for the long wait. We write the chapters in my house, and she comes over every other week, and only stays til five, and with homework and everything. It takes a while to right. BTW, I know that theres no solid proof that Sam is gay, but we honestly thing he is. HE IS! I TELL YOU! SAM GAMGEE IS GAAAAAAY! 


	3. Still Breathing and Lego's Ass

In this chapter, our friend Jenny will play an elf that Morwen and me meet. In the Jungle belongs to someone we dont know, Stacy's Mom belongs to Fountains of Wayne, and Girls all the Bad guys want belongs to Bowling for Soup. I love You belongs to barney. You will understand when you read this chapter. I think this is the best one yet. Nerwen, AKA Jenny, helped us a lot in this chapter.  
  
Nerwen POV:  
  
I was walking around the halls when I hear this screaming coming from the dinning hall just a little ways away. I ran to see what was going on and I saw this maiden who looked like she was going to attack Prince Legolas, so I ran in to see more. I saw a girl with dirty blond hair laying on the floor. I also saw a shocked look on everyone's face, and Lord Elrond with his famous eyebrows. So I ran over to Arwen to ask her what was going on.  
  
"Arwen what in the world is going on here?" Arwen turned to me and told me about this maiden who went crazy...  
  
Morwen POV:  
  
*EH-EM* I woke up with a two people standing over me. GASP.  
  
"HOLY FISHMONKEY! RAPE! SOMEONE HELP M-" a hand flew over my mouth. It was some elf I had not met.  
  
"Hello, I am Nerwen. I am a friend and representative of- "  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...::Pant::...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ! I'm wearing A DRESS!!!" I did a back flip over the two elves and straight to the closet- thingie... what do you call those things...WARDROBES!! haHA!!! "Nowww... Um... nope. No. Nope. Nah. Dah. Zi-. -ip. Scoff. DARN! I am NOT wearing a dress!!"  
  
Nerwen POV:  
  
The strange woman leaped out of bed and started screaming about dresses. She then stopped.  
  
"Oh... I'm... Sorry...Ugg... I'm...Um...Morwen, and I HATE DRESSES... Who are you?" She said. She seemed embarrassed for her rash actions.  
  
"Yes... well, I am Nerwen and this is my friend Legolas," I gestured to the prince. The strange maiden than fell to the floor.  
  
"HA! JULIA WOULD KILL ME...fun... Where is she?"  
  
Nessa POV:  
  
Hour Twelve- 12th hour since I was thrown in the dungeons after greeting Legolas...  
  
I was singing silently (okay, maybe the whole castle heard it) this good old song called "In the Jungle, the Mighty Jungle". Actually, I improved it a tad bit for the occasion.  
  
"In the Dungeons! The mighty dungeons, Nessa screams tonight! Oh! SAAAAAAAAAAA-AAA-AAA-AAAA-AAAVE! SAAAVE ME TONIIIIIIIIGHT! Awimibawa, Awimbawa, Oh Legolas, Oh Legolas, Awimbawa, Awimbawa, Oh Legolas, Oh Legolas. SAAAAAAAAAAA-AAA-AAA-AAAA-AAAVE! SAVE ME, Legolas!"  
  
Then, I sang "Stacy's Mom". Once again I improved it. MUAHAHAHAHAAAA!  
  
"Legolas, has got a cute ass! He's all I want and it's all that I ask! Elladan can't you see? You're just not the elf for ME! I know it might be rash, but I'm in love with Lego's ass!"  
  
Another song I improved in my boredness. "Girl all the Bad Guys Want".  
  
"Cuz he's protecting Frodo! Creaming all the orc-guys! Listening to Aragorn! Blue ocean in his eyes! It's like a bad movie! I think that he arrested me! If you were me then you'd be, screaming 'Someone spear me!' Then I spazed miserably trying get the elf all the fan-girls want. Cuz he's the elf all the fan-girls want!"  
  
Morwen POV:  
  
I was conversing (I learned a big word!) with Nerwen and Lego-boy when I hear this HORRIBLE singing. It was someone trying to sing, "In the Jungle", and then "Stacy's Mom" and then "Girl all the bad Guys Want", but all the lyrics were about Legolas......  
  
"JULIA!" I screamed.  
  
Legolas POV:  
  
I was talking to my good friend, Nerwen, and the girl that I owe my life to, Morwen, when Morwen suddenly screamed "JULIA!"  
  
"Pardon me, mellon, but who is Jooleea?" I asked. She started to talk but, then stopped.  
  
"Oh. I mean, NESSA! I can hear her trying to 'sing' somewhere under this floor." I put a look of horror on my face.  
  
"Y-y-you mean..... she's still----- BREATHING?!" I jumped back in anguish.  
  
"How did you try to kill her?" she asked.  
  
"Well, we couldn't round up some orcs....."  
  
"Even if you did.....it wouldn't work. She doesn't die easily when she has a mission...."  
  
Morwen POV:  
  
I had a flashback. There was a big FLASH! And then, I was BACK.  
  
~ Flashback ~  
  
You see Morwen in Nessa's backyard in a ski-mask and with a chainsaw in her hand. Morwen stared confused at Nessa...(don't ask how she could see through the ski-mask...)  
  
"You mean you didn't die?! WHAT ARE YOU MAN!?"  
  
~ End Flashback ~  
  
Then, I saw another FLASH. And I was BACK from the BACK.  
  
Legolas POV:  
  
"What is her mission?" I asked as Morwen's eye glazed over in memories. Her eyes refocused and turned to me.  
  
"In this case... do you really want to know?" I paused for a second and realized what she meant. I jumped back...again... This time I was terrified and started to get mental images in my head....  
  
Nessa POV:  
  
I was in the middle of singing my NEW favorite song 'I love you, Leg- ooo--LASSSSSSSS' when I heard this:  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" IT WAS MY WIDDLE LEG-LESS!! I could hear him through the walls!  
  
Morwen POV:  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Legolas literally screamed.  
  
"...I...Didn't know... Elves screamed... " I said. Nerwen was confused also.  
  
"Well...they don't... Or they're not suppose to... Um... Under extreme times of stress, or fear... instead of having seizures..." she said slowly, trying to piece together why Legolas had screamed.  
  
"Oh!" I yelled. "It was probably because he figured out Nes-um...my friend's mission...." He screamed again. This time tears joined the screams. Wow. We're setting records here......  
  
~*~  
  
Nessa: WOW! We finished a whole chapter in one sitting!  
  
Morwen: Yea! And we're on the third chapter!  
  
Nessa: I thought we would have quit by now....  
  
Legolas: **in tears** I was hoping sooooo.....  
  
Nerwen/Jenny: It's okay.... take deep breaths.....DEEP breaths....  
  
Legolas: WHY DO YOU TORMENT ME SO!?  
  
Nessa: Don't worry. In a few chapters, I'll save your life, and youll start to love me....  
  
Morwen: How very Mary-Sueish....  
  
Legolas: More like Lego-Suicidal....*sob*  
  
Nessa: Can elves commit suicide?  
  
Legolas: I don't know. There had never been something so evil to drive them to do so....  
  
Morwen: Well....we learn something new everyday....  
  
Nessa: So, if you don't want me to be tortured by Elrond's eyebrows, review...  
  
Elrond (off screen in his Eyebrow training room): Eyebrows attack! **You hear the sound of diamonds breaking** Go super eyebrow punch! *You see a huge mushroom cloud....*  
  
Morwen: No one's going to care if Elrond attacks you with his eyebrows! They all care about Legolas!  
  
Legolas: FOR THE LOVE OF THE VALAR! PLEASE! REVIEW! NESSA WILL KILL ME!! SAAAAAVE MEEE!!!  
  
Nessa: *Jumps on Legolas* I love you! I would never purposely inflict you with incruciating terrible pain!  
  
Nerwen: GET THE HELL OFF OF HIM!!  
  
Morwen: Hey! Where's the popcorn! Oh, wait, I have something better then popcorn.....and unlike Nessa with Legolas.... I actually have a chance with him... Oh Elrohir!!  
  
Legolas: HELP!!!  
  
Elladan: *walks in screen with tears running down his face* WHY HIM!?  
  
Legolas: *Turns to Elladan* HERE! TAKE HER! PLEASE!! AHHHHHHHH! *falls unconscious from near heart attack*  
  
Nessa: Aww...damn....he's no fun when he's asleep! But... he looks so cute when he's sleeping.... well....he is when he's awake too....  
  
Nerwen: Um....Nessa, he's not sleeping. He's UNCONCIOUS. There IS a difference.  
  
Morwen: *while hanging off of Elrohir* No! NESSA! BACK! You can't do anything to him while he is sleeping! He can't fight back, he can't defend himself, and he can't run away. It's not fair.  
  
Elrohir: *has Morwen hanging off his side, his expressionless face staying.......EXPRESSIONLESS!* Um....okay.  
  
Nerwen: Okay...so....for the love of Legolas, review. Or Nessa will no longer be able to hold back.  
  
Nessa: *sob* It's true!!!!!  
  
Morwen: *Jumps up* Oh and, about the last chapter... We have NOTHING against gay people!  
  
Nessa: We just think Sam is gay! I mean...COME ON! The things he does SCARE ME!!! Those are not things u do to friends. I mean, if Rama gets this evil ring, WHY the HELL would I go?!  
  
Morwen: awwww! I feel so warm inside... NOT! *Pulls out Tetsuisaiga. You hear Inuyasha in the background*  
  
Inuyasha: Heyyyyy... Where did it GO?!  
  
Kagome: Rama's using it... Rama That thing only kills DEMONS  
  
Morwen (RAMA): *About to slice Nessa* I KNOW!!  
  
Kagome: *Pops on screen* Konichi wa! Um... I'm not from LOTR, but...Some crossover fics think I should date Aragorn... *Shivers*  
  
Arwen: BACK OFF BITCH!  
  
Aragorn: Um.....Okay.....*in whining baby voice* I'm scared now.....::tear::  
  
Miroku: *to Arwen* Excuse me, miss, will you bear my ch- *Is dragged off by Sango*  
  
Sango: Oh, No you don't  
  
Miroku: But she has lovely hips... For baring a child...  
  
Rama: for all the LOTR fans that think I'm perverted... BLAME RUMIKO TAKAHASHI, The VERY smart creator of Inuyasha, she made Miroku (an Inuyasha character, like Sango, Kagome and Inuyasha,) hentai*. So he asks random women to bear his child....  
  
*perverted  
  
Nessa: I would have a bishi (anime crush) on him, cuz he seems FUNNY, but.... he might rape me..... AND I'm loyal to Legolas.  
  
Sango: You dont know half of it. He's a MONK a perverted Buddhist monk!  
  
Nessa: Um.... ::shivers:: heh heh heh....heh  
  
Miroku: *to Nessa* Excuse me miss, you said that you liked me and thought I was funny, so I was wondering is youd like to- *gets hit by the Boomerang Bone (Sango's main weapon made out of a demon's bone that is her size)  
  
Legolas: (miraculously ALIVE) ::cough:: please......save.....meeeeeee........ ::hugs Sango's ankles::  
  
Nessa: I'm sorry Legolas.... please forgive me.... *Legolas looks at Nessa scared*  
  
Nerwen: Okay..... maybe we should STOP since this is getting longer then the actual story.....  
  
Morwen: ok ok  
  
Nessa: REVIEW! 


	4. eyebrows UP eyebrows DOWN and Cliffhange...

HELLOOOOOOOOOOoooooo...O................!  
  
~~~`  
  
Nessa POV:  
  
"My Baby LEGOLAS... he's Crying...Lemmie see him? Pwease?" I tried to reason with the guards, and then Rama appeared.  
  
"BECAUSE I SAID SO THATS WHY WE'RE GONNA SET HER FREE!" she yelled. I could hear MY BABY saying "You sound like my dad," but he was weeping at the same time. AWWWWWWWWWW!  
  
And then they freed me. And then I jumped Legolas! And then they chained me back up again. And then Morwen came back the next morning and sneaked me into the Council of Elrond.  
  
Did I ever mention Elrond's eyebrows? Well, I wasn't paying much attention, since I've seen the movie and read the book, but I couldn't help but notice the way his eyebrows went UP and DOWN every other word. Freaky. I was waiting for the moment where I could jump in and say I would join the Fellowship. Just after Merry and Pippin jumped in and declared that they would go too, I ran out of my hiding place.  
  
"I'm going too! And you can't stop me! Ha HA! Nana-nana-boo-boo" I screamed. I think I was very mature. Leggy-poo blanched horribly. Just then, Morwen jumped out from the bushes.  
  
"No WAY are you going with out me!" We both stood next to each other, feeling very special. Until of course Elrond burst our bubble.  
  
"Well, Lady Nessa, Lady Morwen, you both are not exactly capable of going with the Fellowship. You do not understand the dangers and the consequences." I glared at Elrond and started to tell him off. I mean, tell him OFF.  
  
"FIRST of all, I CAN fight. Second of all, Morwen--" Morwen cut me off.  
  
"No, no, NO! I will speak for myself! For now, speak for yourself!"  
  
"Okay. Whatever. SECOND of all, I know EVERYTHING about the Ring. And it's NOT because of your droning banter!" I screamed. Elrond blushed... Wow... I didn't know they could do that.... Boromir then stepped forward.  
  
"And how do we know that you really know about the One Ring?" God I hate that baka (idiot). I smiled sweetly (I hope you know that the "sweetly" is SARCASM).  
  
"Well, for starters, it is the ring forged by Sauron and it rules 19 other Rings. Three to the Elves, Nine to mortal men, and Seven to the dwarves. The nine mortal kings became ring wraiths, 3 of the dwarf rings were eaten by dragons, and 4 were found by Sauron. The three Elvish rings stayed with the elves and I know for a FACT that the Lady Galadriel of Lothlorien has one of them. I ALSO know that Bilbo got the Ring from Gollum, formally Smeagol, who got it from Deagol, his best friend, after he MURDERED him. ALSO I know that... Rama, What else do I know?"  
  
Rama finally stood.  
  
"We also know of the tales of... 'There and Back Again.'" Rama used a very different voice when speaking to a crowd. Frodo was now paying attention. "We know of Smaug, of Sting and of the eagles that saved you," she pointed to Gandalf, "from the wolf-riders." She inhaled and sat back down.  
  
Cool...she actually sounded... I dunno...serious...  
  
Morwen POV:  
  
Then Gandalf stood... well, actually he was standing the whole time, But now... he started TALKING!  
"I will not go if they do not go. I sense something. Something great about to happen. Something is burning inside them, and I want them to be on the Fellowship's side when it bursts. They may prevent one more death, one more hopeless cause, one more casualty in the war of the One Ring." He turned to us, "Women, meet your companions in the journey to come." Gandalf stopped.  
  
"Oh yeah! It's my birthday! It's my birthday! Where going! With the Fellowship! Oh YEAH! I get to- stalk Legolas! Uh- HUH," Nessa sang as Legolas collapsed, and Aragorn caught him before Nessa could. "He's MINE! GIMMIE! NOW! Grrrrrr..." Legolas rewakened.  
  
Legolas POV:  
  
She was back again. I think I may be the first elf to die of fear. I knew what I had to do. I turned to Elrond.  
  
"If... She is coming, let me bring my own personal accompaniment. Let me bring Nerwen, my good friend and loyal representative."  
  
Elrond POV:  
  
My lord, this Fellowship will be over run with women, but better She- elves then mortals.  
  
"Fine" I said. ::eyebrows UP, eyebrows DOWN::  
  
Morwen POV:  
  
"Come, now, you must have some weapons in all of this... Do you use arrows? " Elladan had insisted on getting our weapons. He wanted to say Sayonara* to Julia, We shook are heads "Of course not...Swords?"  
  
*Good bye (Julia *in author mode*: I HONESTLY DIDN'T KNOW...) (to get that, read our profile)  
  
"Yuppers!" I yelled. I love swords. It tuns out that the Elven Armory was stock full of 'em! They had a 'Sword room' or something. Anyway, the swords where lined up, and I just had to look through them. YAH! Most of them where the normal, you know, the rope bound straight metal type, heavy for all but fencing, common in Europe... Actually you...wouldn't...know... ::sigh::.... but this one was different.  
  
For starters, It was light weight, and it DIDN'T HAVE A HILT! IT WAS BROKEN IN HALF!!!!  
  
Nessa POV:  
  
The sword was silvery... It looked pretty... I'll take it! I'll call it...Legolas... no... too suspicious...Salogel ... no... too ugly...  
  
Morwen held up a crudy old broken sword...she started talking...  
  
"IT'S BROKEN IN HALF!!!!!! ... Oh! Look at this one!" she held up another random sword. Um...okay... Just then, I smelled the most wonderful smell EVER.... I turned around and my suspicions were confirmed.  
  
"LEGOLAS!" I screamed. His eyes became saucers. CUTEEEEEEE!!!!  
  
"Y-you have a s-sword?!?!" He went white REALLY quickly. Then he turned around and ran. I think I heard his say, "She's gonna kill me and then mess with my corpse!" I turned to Rama and started to sob.  
  
"At this rate... he'll NEVER love me!!" I shrieked. Sadly, Rama was gone...and that's not the sad part. That meant I was with Elladan... ALONE.... in a small dark room with pointy objects..... RUUUUUN!  
  
*~~Meanwhile in the Land of the Free and the Home of the Terrapins(Maryland)....  
  
Katie POV:  
  
"I can't BELEVE Julia didn't Return my...calls... HURACANE ISABEL!!!" suddenly the horrible hurricane swamped ME up and into...I think...Nuh...  
Trees... falling...trees...three people... Tall guy, guy with pointy ears and...a kid...?  
  
Aragorn POV:  
  
Gimli was being given a tour of Rivendell, And I decided to come along. Elladan was hosting the tour. HE IS SO BORRING!!!  
  
"Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh...Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!" A woman was falling from the sky...? She was screaming along the way. She then landed...On Gimli...  
  
"Ah! I fell on a kid! ...With an axe... Ok-aaaay..." She then darted away. AH! I think Elladan died of shock! Yahoooooo!!!  
  
Nerwen POV:  
  
The fellowship was now to OFFICIALY meet the humans, Nessa and Morwen. We had redressed them in according garb. Morwen was wearing a loose white shirt, with a brown vest and brown pants. She had a sword tucked to her side. Nessa was wearing a dress. A red dress. With a bow and arrows and a sword. She was, of course, poking at Prince Legolas.  
  
"Love me!" she was saying. "Pwease?" Legolas was having a nervous breakdown. It seemed that, after greeting Aragorn and the rest of them, Morwen took to the hobbits.  
  
"So... how many breakfasts DO you guys eat??" she said, studying the great deal of pots and pans they where carrying.  
  
"Two" said Merry, like it was no big deal .  
Morwen went bug-eyed. " WOW" she rambled "Wow...wow...wow...wow...wow...wow" she mumbled. Then all hell, once more, broke loose.  
  
Frodo POV:  
Oh, come on! She's not that BAD!!  
  
Nerwen POV:  
  
YES she WAS!!!  
  
Frodo POV:  
  
Alright... anyway!  
  
Suddenly a girl popped out of the bushes!  
  
Morwen POV:  
  
It was Katie, from Maryland!  
  
Nessa Pov:  
  
SHAAAA!!  
  
Surprise! Surprise!  
  
Frodo POV:  
  
Cliffhanger! Cliffhanger! 


	5. No! YOU give me gifts! YOU!

You know those funny lil intros in the beginning and end of the story? We call that Author Mode. TADA! Example of Author Mode: BELOW! Lol. we will have Author Modes in the beginning and end of the chapters, and occasionally, in the story.  
  
Chapter Five: (note this is in author mode, we are not changing the writing style)  
  
Morwen: I WANT MY HIEI & MY SESSHOMARU! WAAAAAAA! *Sobb*  
  
Frodo Narrating: When we last met .....there was a story. In that story, there was a ring-  
  
Nessa: Frodo, damn it! We don't need to know the whole story!  
  
Frodo: Ugh....ok.  
  
Nessa: Our friend, Katie,  
  
Morwen: Also known as Tári (ELVISH NAME GENERATOR!)  
  
Nessa: Fell into middle-earth.  
  
Nerwen: All hell breaks loose.  
  
Nessa: You like saying that don't you? (voice fading away)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~  
  
Nessa POV:  
  
"Ka-I mean- Tári!" I screamed. It was our friend Katie! From Hicksville, Maryland! Rama squeaked and jumped over to the confused Katie. She looked over and saw Gandalf with his staff and pointed hat.  
  
"HOGWARTS!?" she screamed maniacally. "ALL MY DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE!!" she started to sob happy tears. Did I mention her big t-shirt that said "HOGWARTS: Quidditch" across the front? OR the giant snitch on it? Hm...didn't think so... "WHERE'S HARRY!? AND.....DRACO?! AND... OLIVER WOOD? Please! Take me to them!" I couldn't help but laugh.  
  
"Sorry, Tári..." snorted Morwen. "This is OUR story! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAhaha- haaaum okay....I look strange now, don't I?" The whole Fellowship and Katie were staring at the Inuyasha-freak like she was a......FREAK!  
  
"You!" screamed Aragorn. "You are the one who fell on to Gimli!" Katie looked over at Gimli and realization dawned over her ... haha ... I sound smart. (Author Mode Morwen: Now you sound stupid....)  
  
"Ohhhhhhhhh!" screamed Katie. "YOU'RE the ugly little kid!" Nerwen and Legolas had to chort at that.  
  
Morwen POV:  
  
CHORT is MY word! MUAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Nessa POV:  
  
Okay. That's.....nice...... ANYways.... Gimli glared at Katie, shock in his eyes. Well, actually, you couldn't tell if there was shock in his eyes because all his hair was in the way because he was thrashing around maniacally trying to kill Katie.  
  
Legolas POV:  
  
Such good first impressions this group makes.  
  
Tári POV A/M:  
  
Good thing Aragorn and Boromir were there to restrain him  
  
Nerwen POV A/M:  
  
How do you know their names?!  
  
Tári POV A/M:  
  
This is AFTER I met them and everything.  
  
Nerwen POV A/M:  
  
Oh. Okay.  
  
Nessa POV:  
  
Okaaaaay. So, fast forward to November 8th. Katie's officially part of the Fellowship (MARY-SUE!) and Gimli HATES her.....a LOT. Oh, and she likes Pippin. Yes, very scary. So, Elrohir starts to like HER which gets Rama REALLY pissed off. (Morwen A/M: buaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! ::sob::) Oh, and Legolas likes Rama. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAA...I...Forgot...To...breathe!WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
  
Morwen POV:  
  
"It's MYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY...*Hack* *cough*...BIRTHDAY!!!!!!! CONGRAGULATE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! YAHOO! " I pranced around. I was gonna have my birthday in Rivendell! YAHOO!!  
  
"What is 'birthday'?" asked Legolas. He was following me...For his own protection...Nessa was jealous!!! She was still stalking him.  
  
"Sa-SHA*? You don't know what a BIRTHDAY is? Do Elves celebrate Birthdays?" I asked the elf who had just noticed Nessa hiding behind a tree branch. ((*A Confused or awed expression of MY creation! Tehe))  
  
He turned back to me, trying to ignore the annoying, pesky, jealous, (Nessa A/M: Oi! You can stop!) Okay ok. Sooo...  
  
"What is a birth-day?" he asked. O_o ::Twitch:: I couldn't believe it. Yea sure.... elves are old, so they'd probably have birthdays everyday or something....but not CELEBRATE them? BIG scoff!  
  
"I don't beLIEVE it! BIRTHDAYS are the days you celebrate the day you were BORN!" I screamed. I think that got his attention. I think he whimpered.... oh... and I know this has NOTHING to do with what's happening now, but lately, I've been thinking Legolas likes me *Shiver*...but at least he's KINDA cute...  
  
Nessa AM:  
AHEM.....kinda? KINDA?  
  
Morwen:  
That's the only credit I'm giving him. ANYways....  
  
"You humans and your...anyway... You celebrate that?" he asked.  
  
"Yup!" I 'Whoop-d' Suddenly Katie appeared. She wore her green cloak and glasses around the castle... thing... often. "Oh. It IS the 8th, isn't it? "  
  
"Yuppers" I said. And then Julia ran from her hiding place.  
  
"Watashi wa Morwen-desu*. I am here to help." I stood in-between Julia and her idol.  
  
*( I am Morwen')  
  
Legolas POV:  
  
Later, Morwen had to explain all of her mortal holidays. All of these spanned within the next two months. Both Tári and Morwen explained.  
  
"Christmas, I don't celebrate-"  
  
"But I do!"  
  
"You give gifts for one day, and then Chanukah is for eight days,"  
  
"Involves candles..."  
  
"Yah! And you get one present for each day... and today is my birthday!" Apparently, I have a lot to learn.  
  
Morwen POV:  
  
It took a wile to arrange everything, so we had to celebrate my birthday on the 10th! *Sobb* When I told Sam, Pippin and Merry...(I became friends with Frodo, and I made an agreement to distract Sam from him whenever I can... poor Frodo-Kun**!!!) we got into a small argument...  
  
"No... on birthdays, you give US gifts!!" Pippin yelled.  
  
**(-Kun= Friend that's a boy, not boyfriend!)  
  
"NO! YOU give me gifts! YOU!" I yelled back.  
  
"Maybe human birthdays are different," Sam contemplated. For someone trying to rape Frodo-kun, he had half of a brain.  
  
"NO! All holidays are the same, Sam, THE SAME" yelled Merry. Legolas, who had been watching the whole damn confrontation, shook his head. He was leaning against a tree. We were on the borders of a small forest.  
  
"Okay, how about this: We all get each other gifts, OKAY?" I asked the hobbits.  
  
"Deal!" Merry held out his hand reluctantly and we shook.  
  
Legolas POV:  
  
Humans and hobbits are so similar, mind a few small height variations...  
  
Frodo POV:  
  
Heeeey!  
  
Legolas POV:  
  
Well. It IS the truth... Wait... HOW...  
  
Frodo POV:  
  
Its just your imagination... I'm not clairvoyant at all...  
  
Nessa POV:  
  
Pippin and Merry and Sam all got Morwen pots and pans, cutrosey of Sam, and Morwen got them all... Stuff that she had in her backpack when we fell... you didn't know we still have stuff from their, did you, huh?  
  
"This," Morwen held up a Flashlight, in her backpack, she carries twelve at one time, Don't ask me why, "Is a flashlight, you press this button, it gives light" And then she demonstrated, "This is an umbrella" she had given the flashlight to Pippin, "Press button, protects from rain" She demonstrated and gave it to Sam, "And this is a Maryland Terps had... Adjustable!" She demonstrated and gave it to Merry, "Protects your little heads from hot sun, and has the best team on earth and not on middle earth, on it. Fear the turtle, Dammit!" for the rest of the day she wore a soup pan on her head. Freak.  
  
Frodo, whom had read her mind and knew about the human custom, got her a scarf, actually, it was the one he had been wearing all the way from the shire. After cleaning it, Morwen whore it for the rest of the day, She got Frodo, from her bag of goodies, a refrigerator magnet. It was a little glass dolphin with sand inside it. Frodo thought it was some kind of sacred fish.  
  
Nerwen POV:  
  
Since I haven't had a POV so for the whole stupid chapter... it's my turn.  
For Chan-u-kah and Christ-mas (UG! I'm actually having trouble pronouncing the stupid mortal holidays!) because of the confusion, no one got anyone gifts, though Tari tryed to paint Gandalf's staff green for reasons unknown. What Morwen, Nessa and Tari DID do, was steal a whole Elven Chorus and teach them strange Hymns like 'Jingle bells' and 'Dreydel, Dreydel'. The Elven Chorus sung it very well, but then again, they sing all things well, if not PERFECT.  
  
Nessa AM:  
  
S'good?  
  
Morwen AM:  
  
S'good. The end.  
  
Nerwen AM:  
  
Heyyyy...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``  
  
Morwen: Lalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaala!  
  
OWARI*  
  
*(Owari=End) 


	6. WARNING! VERY CORNY! In Which it is Very...

(WARNING!! THE END OF THIS CHAPTER BECOMES CORNY!! STARTS OFF NORMALLY WITH JOKES AND ALL, BUT SLOWLY, BECOMES CORNY {think about it...Nessa starts to think about something BESIDES Legolas} ALL WILL BE EXPLAINED IN NEXT CHAPTER BECAUSE IT WOULDN'T MAKE SENSE IF WE EXPLAINED IT IN THIS CHAPTER!!!!) Frodo AM:  
  
'Twas the night before the Fellowship left, and all through the castle, not a creature was stirring, not even......a........moussle?  
  
Nessa AM:  
  
You know you really suck at this....  
  
Frodo AM:  
  
::sob:: I know.....  
  
Morwen AM:  
  
Our Chistmas/Hanukkah special is OVER. You don't need to do that you know...  
  
Frodo AM:  
  
I got to seem like I'm working though!  
  
Nerwen AM:  
  
Why, though?  
  
Frodo AM:  
  
This is the only way Sam will go away!!  
  
Sam AM (in another room):  
  
Oh, Mr. Froooodooooooo? Are you done with your narration yet? The bed is getting rather cold.  
  
Frodo AM:  
  
HIDE ME!!  
  
Morwen AM:  
  
::grabs Frodo:: Let's go!!!  
  
(Mission Impossible Theme Song Plays)  
  
Tari AM:  
  
::singing MI theme song:: Dum! Dum! Dumdum! Dum! Dum! Du-  
  
Nerwen AM:  
  
You can....stop.....  
  
Tari AM:  
  
--um.....ooo.....kay......sorry.....FEAR THE TURTLE!!  
  
*** Adventures Of Elf Chasing  
  
The Leaving Of The Fellowship Of The Ring (TLOTFOTR)  
  
Nessa POV:  
  
'Twas the nigh-- ::punched in the head by Morwen::  
  
Morwen POV:  
  
ANYways...... it was the night before the Fellowship left for...... the....... journey.... thing.... mount..... bad..... doom... ed...... thing.....YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!! Well.....a bunch of creatures were stirring... none of them moussles..... CAUSE THERE ARE NO MOUSSLES!! ::stares pointedly at Frodo:: Sam was looking for Frodo, Frodo was hiding in a broom closet (don't ask me how I can look at him through closet doors and don't ask me if Elven castles HAVE broom closet doors.......or broom closets for that matter) Well... Elrond was doing that whole "You are now leaving for a most perilous journey....blah blah blah....  
  
Elrond POV:  
  
No! LOOK AT THE EYEBROWS!!!! EYEBROWS!!!! ::eyebrows up...up.....and....they fall off....:: Damn! Now they all know my secret!  
  
Morwen POV:  
  
....Anyways..... sorry for that interruption..... ::picks up sticky eyebrow:: Wait......hey! This thing won't come off!! "NESSA!!!" I screamed. She ran over from where she was hidden behind Legolas, wiping off the drool with her sleeve. Legolas of course was looking for bandages for his ears which Nessa had tried to rip off.  
  
"Yes'm?" she muttered. I showed her the eyebrow that wouldn't come off my thumb. "That's........ ::gasp:: YOU STOLE ELROND'S EYEBROWS!!"  
  
I started to stutter... I diddn't know what to say! The thing was stuck! ARG!  
  
Nerwen POV:  
  
When I heard the racket, I was impelled to come into the room. There I found Arwen yelling at the two mortal girls, Nessa and Morwen.  
  
"You stole Daddy's eyebrows!" she said.  
  
"It's not my fault!" said Morwen. Luckily for the mortals, Aragorn came in and quelled Arwen's 'vicious' temper. Aragorn quickly established that The Eyebrow had found a new home and would not be leaving.  
  
Morwen Pov:  
  
You are Bob the Immortal Eyebrow! Bwa! Hahahahahahahahahahahahah!  
  
Aragorn Pov:  
  
Oh... kay...  
  
Nessa Pov:  
  
Nish! ...Onward!  
  
~ Just outside of Rivendell on the First Day Of the Fellowship of the Ring's Quest Journey Thing (JOOROTFDOTFOTRQJT)~  
  
Legolas Pov:  
  
"...AND SHE WILL NOT LET GO OF MY EARS!" I growled at the mortal woman known as Nessa. Morwen, my good friend, found a large fallen tree branch and beat her off of me, as Gimli watched.  
  
Tari AM:  
  
I just realized how little we have comically attacked Gimli! Let's get that ugly little kid!  
  
Morwen AM:  
  
RIGHT ON!  
  
Nessa AM:  
  
Legolas?  
  
Legolas POV:  
  
Morwen then poked the Dwarf with the tree branch 'till he left.  
  
Tari AM:  
  
Who else haven't we comically attacked?!  
  
Morwen POV:  
  
Oh, Boooooooooromiiiiiiiiir!!!  
  
Aragorn POV:  
  
As I watched the human girls, Tari and Morwen, I was supprised to see them talking to Boromir. Morwen had succeeded in climbing on top of Boromir, and Tari was walking beside him.  
  
"What is the Horn of Gondor, Boromir?", asked Tari. Boromir opened his mouth and smiled.  
  
"Well. It depends which Horn you are talking about?" he said, puffing out his chest... attempting to be manly. They both squealed and ran away.  
  
Tari POV:  
  
After we discovered that there are TWO Horns of Gondor, ::shivers:: we found big huge pebbles, (bout the size of our fists), and chucked them at Boromir.  
  
Morwen POV:  
  
What a perverted freak...  
  
Nessa POV:  
  
After I was exhausted from chasing Legolas, I ran up to Tari and Morwen. "Whach'all talkin' bout?"  
  
Morwen POV:  
  
Nessa came up to us and asked us a stupid question. I tried to answer as kindly as I could. "Your too.... gifted.... to understand." I never said I was a nice person. Nessa then smiled and nodded. "I know....wait.....HEY!!!!" I will never understand that one....  
  
Boromir POV:  
  
I TRIED to explain to them the meaning of the second Horn of Gondor! I really did!!!  
  
Aragorn POV:  
  
Frodo's clairvoyance is rubbing off on me.... I can hear every thought in thy sick little head Boromir. As thy King, I command thee to SHUT THE HELL UP!!!  
  
Boromir:  
  
Yessir!!  
  
Morwen A/M:  
  
Aragorn SAVES THE DAY!!  
  
Few Days Later as the Fellowship is Taking a Quick Breakish Thing (FDLATFITAQBishT) Nessa POV:  
  
I don't really know where we are. Just as long as I am with my Leggy...right now he's sleeping...his EYES are OPEN....that's good....I like his eyes....they're purty... Boromir is teaching the Hobbits how to sword fight. Well...more like Merry and Pippin... Sam was putting up the act that he was cooking.... but he was really poking Frodo with a ladle, thinking he was flirting. Really he was scaring the poor boy.  
  
Morwen was stealing potatoes from the cooking pot while Sam wasn't looking.  
  
Morwen POV:  
  
Po.......ta.......toes.......  
  
Nessa POV:  
  
I SWEAR something is supposed to happen. Either the Hobbits get drunk and merry-make... (that still reminds me of making Merry...which is scary....very...)or these crow things come... I can't quite remember. Well...either one is horrible....  
  
Morwen POV:  
  
I sat staring at Legolas as me, Tari, and Nessa sat to ourselves. "You know, I've only watched the first movie a few times....but....I'm pretty sure Legolas isn't supposed to be sleeping right now...I could have sworn he was the one who saw the demented crows...."  
  
"Yeah!" yelled Nessa. Since Rivendell... it's been weird. I've almost forgotten Morwen and Nessa aren't our real names. And I also forgot that Tari's a Harry Potter freak... weird...  
  
"Wh-What is that dark cloud?" asked one of the hobbits... I don't remember which one...Dammit! Grrrr... which one?!?!?!?!  
  
Nessa POV:  
  
At this point, I knew why it felt strange for Legolas to be asleep. HE was supposed to see the Crows! Morwen seemed to figure out at the same exact time....Whoa...I just noticed....we don't call each other by our names anymore... weird...ANYways... Morwen shot up and screamed "It's Crebain! From Dunedain!"  
  
That was stupid. I screamed at her. "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!? NOT DUNEDAIN!! HOW DUMB IS THAT!?" Apparently no one cared where the Crows were from. Gandalf started rushing everyone to get their stuff and hide. The cloud just got bigger and bigger.... closer and closer... Tari, Morwen, and Nerwen all ran to the bushes and beckoned me to come to. I knew I was forgetting something... I just KNEW... Just then, Morwen's eyes got REALLY big. Like she was looking at something behind me. I turned around and saw Legolas who was STILL sleeping.  
  
"Nessa!" screamed Morwen. "You must have tired him out! That's why he won't wake up!!" I gasped as I realized she was right. I mean... elves are supposed to be Super Human... he should have been awake the SECOND he had a bad feeling... Morwen was too far to get Legolas, so was everyone else. I knew that if he woke up and I was remotely near him he would run away screaming like a banshee...I knew what I had to do.  
  
Morwen POV:  
  
Everyone was too far to get Legolas but Nessa. If he woke up and she was even remotely near him, he would run away screaming like a banshee. I had HOPED she would know what to do.... but....apparently...she didn't. She just...STOOD there. STOOD. She had her hands on her head and her eyes clutched shut. Oh....My...God...  
  
Nessa POV (at that time):  
  
Must.....concentrate.....save.....Legolas.....move.......fly......float..... .come to me Legolas......come....  
  
Morwen POV:  
  
Something weird happened then...Really really weird. Nessa's hair got lighter...and straighter....and....she was......a blond. I mean....in an instant. Then, I looked over at Tari. Her hair got darker, went from brown to black. It also got really really messy. I realized that my nails....were....long and weird. And I wasn't so pale anymore. And my ears were on the top of my head. Tari looked at me and screamed.  
  
"Oh my God, Morwen! Your hair is WHITE!!" she screamed. I didn't get it. It didn't make any sense. But for some reason I had this urge to RUN and save Legolas. I guess Nessa did too. Later I figured out Tari also did, but, she didn't know what to do.  
  
Nessa POV:  
  
I knew I was different. I felt more...flexible...and stronger. And my hair didn't feel so heavy. When I opened my eyes, I saw that I was alone on the cliffy thingy, except for Legolas who was STILL sleeping. Just then, I felt this large breeze at my left. When I turned to look, all I saw was a huge flash of white. Next thing you know it, this freak with white hair was next to Legolas. MY Legolas!  
  
"Hey!" I screamed. The white-haired person turned to look at me. Then I noticed that it was just Morwen...with white hair....and gold eyes....and....claws..... I decided it was time to run to her and Legolas, since the Crebain were so nearby. But....instead of running...I.....did a Round off... and then....a cartwheel....for your information....I've NEVER done a cartwheel....let alone a ROUND OFF! Well, I got to Legolas and Morwen and I helped her pick him up. Together we carried him to a the bushes. I don't remember much after that.  
  
Gandalf POV:  
  
The two girls, the Dark Maiden* and the Young One*, ran to get Legolas. There seemed to be a spell on them of some sort. The Dark Maiden had white hair instead of her usual light brown, and the Young One had blond hair instead of her usual dark brown. Young One's hair was also straighter. Dark Maiden ran at unimaginable speed to Legolas as the Crebain got closer and closer still. Young One did a series of jumps and twists that I never knew she could do...she tends to be what Tari describes as a "klutz".  
  
They ran back to the bushes and hid Legolas. When they got there, I saw Tari poke her head out of the bushes. Her hair was darker and messier, and slightly shorter. She seemed to have a magical aura at that point. When Legolas was safe and out of harm's way, I saw the three girls collapse.  
  
I also saw Sam trying to grope Frodo....that's.....disturbing. I'll have to have a talk with that one....  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Nessa :WE WELCOME ALL FLAMES BECAUSE WE KNOW AT THIS POINT, WE DESERVE THEM!!! SORRY THE END ISN'T ALL THAT FUNNY!!  
  
Morwen: END ISNT FUNNY AT ALL!!  
  
Nerwen: AND I'M HARDLY IN THIS CHAPTER!!  
  
Nessa: ACTUALLY......wait....you're right....well....live with it.  
  
Morwen: EVERYTHING WILL BE EXPLAINED LATER!!  
  
Tari: Take out the marshmallows...  
  
Nerwen: Why?  
  
Morwen and Nessa: We're gonna get flamed on this one.... 


End file.
